From player to prayer

Today I talk a little bit about how I overcame something which I think many men go through.

The story behind cheating

Although the topic of why men cheat is for another post, I think we should should shed some light there first.

Studies have shown that men are more likely to cheat on their partners, and that there are quite distinct differences between why a man would cheat and why a woman would cheat. And with evolutionary psychologists telling us(men) that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed

I have also suffered from this very "cheating syndrome" at one point in my life, and hopefully never again. I find it mind blowing how it happens so simply and soon spirals out of control!

There is always a reason for cheating, and most of the time it is the fact that there is a problem that one is trying to avoid. Cheating starts off as a quick-fix for the couple's integrity, when leaving the relationship seems too hurtful or simple "too much".

With that said, my little thrill-seeking-adventure did not take too long before I wanted out, and that came about by me having to mend a heart which I cut deeply by my cheating ways. The good thing about me, which I am proud of, is that I realised how wrong I was quickly and tried my best to deal with it immediately.

As mentioned in the post more about me, I starting praying to God asking for forgiveness and to make me a better person, and I honestly think that helped. Anyway!

 How to avoid cheating

Here are a few guidelines which should help you not to cheat:

1. Talk to your partner. Having a strong, open partnership in which you can talk freely is important to keeping that bond strong. The basis of a good long-term relationship is more than sexual, it has to be a friendship.
2. Avoid potential cheating traps. Most men are smart enough to know the potential traps that lead them down the road to becoming unfaithful men. So if you truly want to avoid that scenario, simply steer clear of these situations. E.g. Avoid meeting alone with anyone that you feel attracted to sexually or romantically and do not confide personal details to anyone that you may feel attracted to.
3. Stay intimate. Physical contact in a strong relationship should involve more than just actual sex. Intimate touch, from stroking hair to massaging to simply holding each other, is key to keeping those bonds strong.

The ball is ultimately in your court. As with anything in life, you have a choice of whether to cheat or not. Make the right choice.

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Taking your relationship to the next level, but before marriage

Soo...you've got girlfriend/boyfriend and things have been great and you are happy. You two have been together for some time now and things are starting to head towards marriage, but marriage seems like too much of a "next step" to take for you? Better yet, you WOULD LOVE to get married to your partner but you cannot at the moment because you are either still too young, you can't introduce him/her to your folks yet, financially you just aren't ready, etc etc

My excuse is that I am not financially ready, I have my mind made up though about where my girl and I are headed, oh and please bear in mind that I am just a 21 year old university student.

I am blessed by coming from a Catholic home whereby church was drilled into us from a young age.
I am even more blessed that my girlfriend also comes from a Christian, church-going family.

Now I must tell you, I am not the strongest of believers out there, but I do try.
I say this because sometime last year my family and I started having financial trouble, and although things kept looking like they would get better, they just wouldn't, like we are cursed or something. I then started losing faith in the Lord because I couldn't understand why we were being punished wheres we did what we were supposed to. So I often cried (as specially seeing my parents struggle) and complained allot, and where better to cry than your partner's shoulder.
On a random day, my girlfriend then came to me and say "come lets pray together".
I was somewhat confused. I mean I knew she was spiritual, but to share that part with me? Anyway, we then started reading scriptures and praying together and I would often be given homework (having to read scriptures and give report backs).

That was probably the best thing that could have happened to her and I. From those moments, we openly invited God into our relationship and things have never been the same since. Don't get me wrong, we are not close to perfect as we still argue allot, but the amount of pressure(if I can call it that) has been lifted off our shoulders. We feel as though we have now passed the turning-point in our relationship and there is simply no going back...and that my dear friend, is an awesome feeling.
What this means is that, no matter what happens or how much you fight and argue, as long as you both know that God is working through your relationship, you guys will not end up leaving each other, therefore giving you less to worry about in your relationship.

I hope I am making sense.
so yes, my simple advice to take your relationship to the next level is simply "Pray together", I can almost guarantee you that you guys will be closer than before. Good luck!

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