Sunday 8 April 2012

Understanding your partner

I was speaking to my father over dinner last night about love and life, and he said something to me that sparked a chain of thoughts in my mind. He said to me "you know, it takes years for you to actually understand someone". We were talking about things like divorce.

This the made me think allot, recalling that Iv seen so many couples (myself included), happily in love but forever fighting/arguing over petty things, which most of the time you would later sit together and laugh about.

I personally think the reason for this is simply because we are different. Think about this way. You were raised in a certain kind of environment by your family, you were taught what is right or wrong from an early age which is now engraved in the back of your mind. Now the same goes for your partner, they were also brought up in a certain type of environment with the relevant rules etc.

The problem is, we weren't all taught how to handle certain situations the same way, some simply weren't taught what others were taught etc..which then make us all different. This then becomes an issue when two people fall in love and then "become one" because they now have opposing views on some things, and that causes conflict where 1 of the partners would have to sacrifice or "change their way of thinking, (which normally only happens after a fight)

My point is this, early in a relationship, admit to yourself and your partner that YOU GUYS ARE DIFFERENT and chances are you will fight about certain things in future, but that does not mean you love him/her any less, it only means that you are willing to continue learning more about him/her and discover what they like and don't like.

Couples fight all the time! Its life, its not easy accommodating someone in your life on a full time basis. If you really love him/her, these fights will never be the,end of your relationship for as long as you are still willing to learn about your partner.

Lastly, "don't try chance your partner to be like you", that should happen on its own with time. I sure you've heard that couples married for over 20years eventually actually start to look alike.

Remember that you fell in love with your partner for their individual self, so why now change that which you fell in love with?

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